Mike's top five

Rick Kelly was telling me he was having a world of trouble with his new tax software. He is thinking now, he did buy the cheapest software he could find and he's pretty sure the company that made the software isn't very reputable and maybe he should return it to the gas station where he bought it (if the guy with the tax Software cart is still there). The top five ways to tell you bought the wrong tax software.
#5. Before you can enter your tax information, you must navigate an intricate maze thru a crocodile infested swamp with Scooby Do!
#4. If at any point it asks you to type in your exact weight and height.
#3. If pop-up adds for "the good tax software" keep popping up.
#2. If you have to email all of your tax information and a credit card number and it's the same email address that you use to buy your email Viagra.
#1. If The Wiggles are on the box and someone has written in "Dorothy The Accountant" on the box in crayon.

This week is volunteer week and there is a volunteer fair at Pine Centre Mall on Friday. Volunteering for a worthwhile organization can be fun and fulfilling. Mike's top five signs the charity you're volunteering for may not be a worthwhile organization.
#5. Everyone else seems to be getting paid and you new nick name is “Loser Newbie”.
#4. If “delivering meals to shut ins”, turns out to be really just delivering coffee and donuts to the morning show. That IS admirable, but not real charity work.
#3. If the head guy walks around with fives and tens tucked into his thong.
#2. If at the annual general meeting, during the treasurers report, everyone is asked to cover their ears and humm a song.
#1. If after emptying the collection box you all decide to put it on the Canucks in four!

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24% of Canadians think Facebook has had a negative impact on society. Mike's top five bad things about Facebook.
#5. It takes away from valuable time that could be spent Twittering or Youtubing.
#4. It shows us just how fulfilling and meaningful everyone elses lives are.
#3. It's a major cause tension headaches and shoulder knots, not to mention carpal-status syndrome.
#2. Without Facebook, we run the risk of becoming way too productive at work, raising the expectations of our employers and shareholders and in turn causing the destabilization of the western economy.
#1. The daily decisions about which to hate more, Mafia Wars, Farmville updates or Quizzes!

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I just got my taxes back from my accountant, but I don't know - - I think my taxes might have been prepare by a monkey. Mike's top five signs your taxes might have been prepared by a monkey.
#5. More feces than usual on your tax return.
#4. You noticed the tax preparers supervisor is wearing a yellow hat.
#3. Tigress, Viper, Mantis and Crane are all sitting in the waiting room.
#2. Michael Jackson collectibles all over the office and his name tag says "Bubbles".
#1. Your refund? 383 bananas!

We have our own app now! You can now download The River app at the app store for free. That's pretty cool, but not ALL cool. Mike's top five not so cool things about having our own app.
#5. People referring to our morning show as a couple of 'pains in the app'.
#4. Really bad jokes about iPads, iPods and iPoutine.
#3. That rich guy that runs Apple calling you up at all hours with “great ideas for your next top five list..”.
#2. Constant coolness causes us to occasionally become disoriented in a haze our own awesomeness.
#1. People accusing us of not knowing our app from a hole in the ground.

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The Apple iPad was released in the U.S. on the weekend. It won’t be available in Canada for another month. However that didn’t stop lots of Canadian geeks from heading to the U.S. over the weekend to buy one. I guess the one month delay is because they have to Canadianize the iPad before they can sell it here. Mike's top five ways to Canadianize the iPad.
#5. Replace the words Zip Code, with Postal Code on the registration form.
#4. Re-do the keyboard layout and add an accent aigu.
#3. Make it so the iPad apologizes, even when it doesn't do something wrong.
#2. Three words: cold weather package.
#1. Change the name from iPad to Eh! Pad.